PIERCE COUNTY CRAZIES #3
by Harvard West
While the number of Pierce County residents who might qualify as “crazy” is potentially endless, only a select few are insane enough to be worthy of the distinction of a Pierce County Crazy. These individuals rise above terms like “unbalanced” or “eccentric” so that their every action ultimately encapsulate the very definition of what it is to be a true “maniac.”
#3 Will Baker
Hometown: Tacoma
Occupation: roadside flower salesman, exotic dancer, “international man of diplomacy”perennial candidate for various state and local offices.
On Record
1: In 2000, Baker ran for Mayor of Tacoma, because “Mayor ‘Evilsole’ has been ’shagging’ the people of Tacoma for too long and because Will believes that the “mojoly – challenged” Brian “Evilsole” is using the position of Mayor as a stepping-stone to his ultimate goal of World Domination!” His campaign slogan was ““WILL BAKER FOR MAYOR? YEAH BABY YEAH! * TACOMA NEEDS A MAYOR WITH MOJO!”
2: In 2004, Baker tricked the State Republican Party into endorsing him as their candidate for State Auditor despite a wrap sheet, which then included 19 arrests and multiple jail sentences. Despite a failed last minute attempt by the GOP to remove Baker from their list of endorsements, Baker was nonetheless able to use the Republican label to win multiple counties in Eastern Washington and prevent what should have been a blow-out for Sonntag.
3: In 2006 Baker ran for Tacoma City Council against incumbent Julie Anderson and Libertarian upstart Robert “The Traveler” Hill (see Pierce County Crazy #2). Baker crushed Hill in the primary, but only garnered about 19% of the vote in the general election. The following was Baker’s personal statement, published in the August Primary Voter’s Pamphlet:
elections should be the illegal and unethical election practices used by Pierce
County Auditor Pat McCarthy, Mayor Bill Baarsma and the City Council. Fact:
Pierce County Auditor Pat McCarthy, Mayor Baarsma and the entire City Council
manipulate/rig city council elections. How? Fact: One way is to illegally and/or
unethically manipulate/rig the information that is supposed to be made available to
the voters. How? Fact: The City Charter is the Constitution for Tacoma. Fact: Tacoma
citizens – by law – vote on all proposed amendments/changes to the Charter. Fact:
The Tacoma City Clerk – by law – is suppose to print a Voter’s Pamphlet for all city
council elections. (Tacoma City Charter, Section 5.6) However! Fact: The Tacoma City
Council has a history of voting to allow the City Clerk to produce the Tacoma Voter’s
Pamphlet by hiring the Pierce County Auditor to print the Voter’s Pamphlet. Fact:
Then, the Auditor refuses to print candidate statements that she doesn’t like. (This
happened in the 1997 City Council elections and in the 2005 Mayoral election.) Visit www.
TheTruthRocks.com and then please call “60 Minutes” at (212) 975-2006. Boycott
the ACLU!
4: Baker is currently running as a “Reform Party” candidate for governor against Democrat Chris Gregoire and Republican Dino Rossi.
#2 Robert “The Traveler” Hill.
Hometown: Tacoma
Occupation: Unknown
Alias: Jessie Hill
Little is known about Robert “The Traveler” Hill beyond what he tells you and what others have reported on cyber blogs across the Pacific Northwest. A perennial candidate for public office whose controversial positions – like demolishing the Tacoma Dome – ultimately clash with the craziness of giving firearms to children, legalizing crystal meth, and instituting a city-wide “female masturbation day.”
Hill is thought to have been arrested on multiple occasions and many believe him to be a danger to the public, though Hill has yet to physically accost or offer violence to anyone on record. Hill is best known for providing convoluted public testimony during city/county council forums, and has even been known to testify during Senate hearings in Olympia.
In the fall of 2007, Hill appeared for the first time on The Melon as a guest for Electric Elliot (Trotter) and Chris “The Wedge” Van Vechten.
In 2008, Hill made a last minute decision to file to run for Pierce County Sheriff under the pseudonym “Jessie Hill.” Prior to filing, Hill offered the following commentary on June 3, 2008 during a Pierce County Council public forum (see minutes 41:45-45:15) On June 16, Hill appeared in an exclusive Melon youtube interview, in which he outlined his rationale for running for Pierce County Sheriff. Less than two weeks later, Hill was removed from the race when it was revealed that he had a pending felony conviction on his record for forging a judge’s signature on a temporary restraining order in April of 2008.
#1 Pam Roach
Home Town: Sumner
Occupation: State Senator, 31st LD
2008
“During this past session, Senate Republican Party leaders banned Roach from contact with any employee of the Senate Republican caucus after she forced employees to spend inordinate amounts of time with her and demanded they pledge their loyalty to her. The reprimand became public after Roach released an open letter criticizing her caucus leadership and saying she had been “mooned” by fellow Republican Mike Hewitt.” Fuse
Is Pam Roach just crazy, or Crazy Like A FOX
2007
Wouldn’t it be funny if somebody actually moved Pam’s Desk?
2006
2005
2003
“Two of Roach’s aides quit on the same day. Roach was reprimanded and asked to seek counseling by a bi-partisan committee, which cited multiple previous warnings that her treatment of staff violated the Senate’s respectful workplace policy. Her new aide was suspended for digging up and turning over to Senate officials private emails written by the former staffers.” FUSE
2000
“…the Senate agreed to pay $2,500 for counseling to a Roach aide who quit the previous year. The aide claimed she needed therapy after working for Roach nearly four years.” FUSE
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO NOMINATE SOMEONE AS A PIERCE COUNTY CRAZY, COMMENT ON THIS POST & MAYBE NEXT WEEK I’LL DO AN ARTICLE ON YOUR SPECIAL PSYCHO.
(Disclaimer: The list of insane incidents catalogued here are not intended to serve as a complete collection of documented incidents of insanity. The Melon regrets that it cannot provide total coverage of all the persons outlined above.)
