The venerable state-master Robert (Jessie) Hussein Ivanovitch Santa Dela Vega Hill announced his candidacy today (Nov 3) for the following races: re-election in 2010 to his position as a 27th LD precinct committee officer; Tacoma City Council position #7 (currently held by Julie Anderson as of the drafting this post) in 2010 and 2011; and for Pierce County Sheriff in 2012.

Melonites may remember that Mr. Hill ran against Mr. Pastor in 2012 in a 3-way IRV race in which Hill finished second after outspending his opponent (somewhere around $36K).  Shortly after the election, Hill was arrested after insinuating that Pastor was in physical danger on a broadcast episode of Equal Time Radio.  In fact, Hill claimed that god was angry with Pastor and was about to strike him down.  Hill also ran against Anderson before in 2007.

Since losing his 2008 bid for Sheriff, Hill has undergone forced treatment at Western State Hospital, run (unsuccessfully) for chair of the Pierce County Democratic Party, made it onto the FBI’s “Who’s Who” terror watch list, been ejected from an airplane in New Jersey by a federal sky martial etc.  In short, Hill’s antics have become a staple of The Melon, inspiring modestly priced t-shirts and even an ongoing series called “Hill Watch.”

While Hill has yet to outline any sort of platform for his pending races, his strong finish in 2008 clearly seems to have inspired a second run for Sheriff.  His PCO race is merely intended to provide him with access to democratic resources and his 2010/2011 bid is clearly intend to keep his name on the ballot and in the minds of the voters in 2012.

Here yee, here yee! The Melon is most pleased to announce the winners of the first annual Golden Melon Awards.  As we’ve stated, the GMA’s are meant to reward those outstanding Melon contributors and fans for their participation in our kick ass community.

Interview of the Year:

Robert “The Traveller” (Jesse) Hill

Who would have thought that such a bizarre and polarizing figure would provide such entertainment and opportunity to challenge the status quo? The Melon did, that’s who.  In the summer of 2006, Chris “The Wedge” Van Vecthen sent a couple emails Electric Elliot’s way noting the presence of Robert Hill prior to the state of our radio show on KUPS, we knew and interview had to be obtained. After unsuccessfully locating a phone number or Hill’s physical address (how do you find a “Traveller”?) it was Tacoma City Councilmember Marylin Strickland who handed us his digits after a recording.

The Melon went on to interview Robert twice. Once when he was running for Tacoma City Council, and again when he was running for Pierce County Sheriff. Don’t know who this guy is yet? Check out the winning interviews: Audio (city council). Video (sheriff).

Honorable Mention:

Interview with Sen. Patty Murray

Interviews with Tim Eyman – 1, 2

Melonite of the Year:

R.R. Anderson

Without the support and encouragement of The Melon’s first fan, R.R. Anderson, it’s possible that we’d all be jobless, poor and living in our own filth…wait a second. Truthfully, The Melon has been honored to receive the off contribution of Tacomics, commentary and such selfless bolstering from a truly talented and genuine individual and friend.  Three cheers!

Honorable Mention:

Glynnis Kirchmeier

Jen Drake

marumaruyopparai

Hartman Award:

“Separation No Longer” by Chris Van Vechten

&

“Guess What? Undervaluing the Environment Causes Problems” by Glynnis Kirchmeier

Named after our first esteemed guest, President of the Tacoma Education Association Darrick Hartman, the Hartman Award commends an article with the most educational value.  This year, we have two winners: Chris Van Vechten’s piece “Separation No Longer”which chronicles the relevance of the separation of church and state, contemporary religion’s affect on government and the founding of America and Glynnis Kirchmeier’s “Guess What? Undervaluing the Environment Causes Problems” which discusses the realities of neglecting the environment.

Honorable Mention:

“Artificial Intelligence Takes a Big Step Forward” by Walker Lindley

“Ground Noise and Static” by Joe La Sac

“Food Crisis” by Walid Zafar

The following two excerpts came from witnesses who reported back to The Melon on last Saturday’s Hill Watch.

“I came in early on Saturday to attend the PCDCC re-org meeting. I was asked to assist w/Jerry Abbott in the Sergant-at-Arms duties for the meeting ONLY. I was informed that Robert Hill came into the meeting area carrying a baseball bat & it was placed in the corner of the room right behind the PCO check in table. Due to Mr. Hill’s known past history, I re-positioned myself by Robert, the table & the bat. At the point in the election process for the Executive Board, Mr. Hill nominated himself for Sergant-at-Arms. During the point in the process, Robert gave his speech. His comments were, “I am a felon & I cannot carry a gun but, I can carry a bat…”. He made a bee-line to the bat. I got in between him & the bat due to the comment that he made the referrence about the gun/bat. I did not know what he was going to do & I was not going to let others find out. He became very agitated because he said I was insulting him. He was made aware he could not have the bat until he left the building.  Unfortunately, he does have my name & he was extremely upset stating I insulted him for not giving him his “bat” to use for his speech.”  Eric Choniere

“Dude got 2 votes man, he did better against Pastor” Pierce County Council Member Tim Farrell

Having lost key state senate races in the 28th and 2nd LD, as well as seats on the Pierce County Council – the Pierce County Democratic Party may be ready for new vision and new leadership to chair its political machine.  According to Nathe Lawver, acting chair of the Pierce County Democrats, at least one ambitious felon will be gunning for his throne this Saturday, 12/13, at the PCCC re-org meeting.

According to Lawver, the candidate will in fact be PCO Robert, not Jessie, Hill – though who’s to say if it might not be one of Hill’s countless other aliases.

Talking to Robert Hill via cell phone Thursday, he informed me that he intended to attend Saturday’s re-org meeting, where he planned to introduce several resolutions – including one to abolish the office of Precinct Committee Officer because “PCOs are stupid, nobody votes at the poles any more so why do they exist” but failed to mention anything regarding a run for party chair.  According to Electric Elliot, Hill told him he planned to take it easy after the sheriff’s race, though for all we know Elliot may have been talking to Jessie.

When asked if he was nervous about Hill’s chances to win county chair, Lawver said “I think his candidacy will do a lot to get out the vote.”

The News Tribune is reporting that Robert Hill has been involuntarily committed to the Puget Sound mental health hospital Thursday night, after an arrest for inappropriate possession of a fake training gun in the County-City building of Tacoma Olympia. It is reported that Hill pointed the training gun at a guard when passing through security. Hill denies that he pointed his replica at the guard.

The rabbit hole goes deeper when on Wednesday afternoon, Hill passed through security again in Tacoma Olympia, followed by a friend of Hill’s who possessed a real gun registered in the name of Hill’s mother. Hill again denies knowledge of the gun or his colleagues possession of it. Hill was later arrested Thursday morning and committed after a mental health review.

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Is Jesse Hill qualified for Sheriff? This question was posed by one of our readers in the comments section of a recent post notifying the public of Jesse Hill’s open house of September 27th, 2008. The comment pointed out that according to the Charter 1 Amendment, any elected Sheriff must meet minimum requirements of education and experience including:

• Minimum of bachelor’s degree in criminal justice, forensic science or a related field.
• Graduate of a law enforcement academy.
• Ability to coordinate search and rescue operations.

We contacted Mr. Hill by email to find out more about his qualifications in regard to these requirements and his understanding of them.  He responded by pointing out that Section 36.28.025 of the Charter 1 Amendment states that:

A person who files a declaration of candidacy for the office of sheriff after September 1, 1979, shall have, within twelve months of assuming office, a certificate of completion of a basic law enforcement training program which complies with standards adopted by the criminal justice training commission pursuant to RCW 43.101.080 and *43.101.160.

(Click to enlarge) Hill's Voter Packet Bio - from http://www.flickr.com/photos/tacoma-inventor/

Mr. Hill acknowledged that he currently did not meet these qualifications, stating “[t]his is something, in the future, that will have to be obtained,” but noted his awareness of the twelve month probationary period.

How is Jesse Hill currently qualified if he doesn’t meet the eventual requirements? According to the Pierce County Voters Pamphlet he has “had contact” with a number of law enforcement agencies in the Puget Sound area, and is certainly not shy of ideas.

With Hill outspending his opponent Sheriff Paul Pastor, $28,059.59 to $23,812.22 some Tacomans are beginning to question how exactly Hill is funding his campaign and furthermore if he actually might win this race.  Hill notes that a majority of his campaign funding comes from gold coins he has collected over the last 20 to 25 years. Yeah, gold coins, a claim which has led many to become suspicious and consider supernatural explanations.

An article by The Tribune formerly known as Tacoma, notes that some of Hill’s expenditures are for bizarre items like $60.93 on fourteen sunglass necklaces and $200 for “guard-dog food” purchased from JAG Auctions.

As ridiculous as some of his spending may seem, Jesse Hill means business. Many Tacomans have claimed to have seen a Hill mailing or the man-myth himself walking neighborhoods to canvas his campaign.

What would Pierce County be like with Jesse Hill Sheriff? There’s only one way to find out, and Tacoma might come November.

Robert Hill, aka Jesse Hill, ended his campaign for Sheriff yesterday with a guilty plea to a forgery conviction, The Tacoma News Tribune reported. Hill admitted to forging District Court Judge David Kenworthy’s signature on a temporary anti-harassment order. With a felony conviction on his record, Hill is ineligible to run for Sheriff, or the Democratic Precinct Committee Officer, which he was also up for.

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