Never have I been prouder to be an American than I am today. Over the years I have made it my personal responsibility to take on the lobbyists and special interests, the liberal media, the liberal foreign media, and the liberal Daily Show; I have even actively taken a stand against the corrupt elements within my own party. My actions have earned me both the nomenclature of “The Maverick” and some of the worst working relationships in Washington. But, my friends, this was all because I cared more about preserving the character, conduct and convictions which have made this country so great, than I cared about my own character, conduct and convictions. My friends, I said I would rather win a war and lose an election, and you took me at my word. I suspended my campaign for president last October to fix an economic crisis that has only gotten worse, and still I retain the people’s faith in me. This faith lies not in my experience as a senator, but in my experience as a servant to my country. This experience takes me back many decades ago when I wasn’t so honored, so esteemed, but was instead a prisoner in a far away land……
(pausing to wink at the assembled masses)
Well folks isn’t this a great day to be a citizen of the United States of America.
Seven score and thirteen years ago, our forefathers – and foremothers…
(applause followed by hooting)
brought forth a new nation, conceived in liberty – albeit out of wedlock. Since then, great men like Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush have worked tirelessly to correct the mistakes of the past and to update our hallowed constitution to address the needs of our 21st century Union, thereby bringing it more in line with what our Lord and savior intended in the beginning….
Thank you, Thank you
I am so humbled to once again answer the call of service through leadership for our nation. Last time I stood here as a partner to my husband, President Bill Clinton, and now he stands here for me. Only in a country as free as America could a former first lady expect to one day out-do her husband.
It goes without saying that the road which has led me here has been marked by trial and sacrifice, but it must be remembered that it was a road we did not walk alone. There are some here today who have been with me from the beginning. To you I owe my everlasting thanks. There are others whose support I have still yet to earn. To you I say “never fear, I intend to be both patient and merciful with you….”
(out of breath)
I’m sorry, the train was late getting here.
…..I believe in a government that does more than provide the people with a common defense, but also provides the people with a country worth defending. I believe that now is the time to beat ours swords into plows and our corporations into co-ops. I believe in an end to war and terror, for while we can always bomb our enemies into pieces we can never hope to bomb them into peace….the fact that a lowly congressman from Cincinnati with less than five-feet in stature could nonetheless reach for the stars and there find life-long friends, among other life-forms, is truly a testament to how great our country really is.
…savor the moment America, enjoy this inauguration while it lasts. For I promise this inauguration will be the last tax-expenditure this country will ever see.
The sense of unity, and coming togetherness which we are witnessing today, reminds me of 9/11 for the following reasons…..