So let me guess. It’s Saturday night and you have nothing to wear. Your naked caucus drags itself by the plight of existence, roaming the piss-pitched neighborhoods, like a shivering zombie in search of material possessions to confirm the reality of life on a rotten magmatic rock which rushes through nothing at great speeds as it refuses to acknowledge the universe. You sip compounds through facets and scrap plastic mammals on imitation vegetation, clicking your way through an even more barren cyberspace. Sound like you?
Well, myth through oblivion no further as The Melon is pleased to announce THE MELON STORE. For the low, low price of becoming a corporate tool and supporting The Melon, you can give purpose to your day to day with a Melon t-shirt, mug, tool-flag and so much more. Our ever-expanding product line is RIPE for your picking.
That’s right, while out stock is minimal right now, our armies of wingless flying monkey slaves are hard at work typing thousands of jumbled slogans on thousands of computers and feces stacks. We’re bound to have more interesting stock sometime soon.
So buy, observe, buy, sell, click, double-click and triple-click your way to Melon swag! Show off to all your friends how out of whack your priorities are by displaying your Melon pride.
(The Melon Store can be found in our Inner Melon section on the right of the main page as well.)